People don’t talk enough about what happens when a PhD doesn’t go to plan. We hear about publications, graduations, and Viva celebrations, but not about the students who leave. So I interviewed one of them: a brilliant friend who made the tough decision to walk away from her PhD. We talked about why she left, what it felt like, and what she’s learned since. This a story about agency, honesty, and choosing what’s best for your future. If you’re thinking about quitting a PhD, or are just curious, this one is for you!

1. ⁠Can you briefly share what your PhD project was about before you made the decision to leave?
2.  Can you explain a bit about what kind of in vivo work you were being asked to do?
3. Was it a gradual realization or was there a specific moment where you thought: “this isn’t for me”?
4. How did you process those feelings? Did you talk to your supervisor or peers about it?
5. What would you say to other students who might feel uncomfortable with in vivo work but are scared to speak up?
6. Is there anything you’ve learned through this experience that you wish you could tell your past self?
7. Any final advice for people who might be struggling with ethical discomfort during their PhD?

1)⁠ ⁠Can you briefly share what your PhD project was about before you made the decision to leave?

During my PhD project, I investigated the cellular and circuitry mechanisms of chronic motor recovery. I focused particularly on the respiratory motor system after spinal cord injury. My aim was to find therapeutic strategies to promote functional recovery and improve the quality of life for patients with spinal cord injuries. The project was fascinating. The humanitarian cause propelled me to apply. However, the extensive in vivo research ultimately did not align with my personal values.

 2) Can you explain a bit about what kind of in vivo work you were being asked to do?

The in vivo research involved training animals for behavioral assessments. It required establishing baseline measurements. The process included performing spinal cord injuries and conducting post-injury behavioral evaluations. This also encompassed all aspects of post-surgical animal care and monitoring, which meant I was in most weekends. While I understood the scientific necessity of this work for advancing our understanding of spinal cord injury recovery, the hands-on nature of these procedures became increasingly challenging for me personally.

3) Was it a gradual realization or was there a specific moment where you thought: “this isn’t for me”?

It was definitely a gradual process initially. I noticed increasing discomfort with certain aspects of the work. At first, I thought this was due to normal adjustment challenges; many researchers face these challenges. However, there were specific situations that cemented my concerns about this being a viable future. The final turning point came when I realized that my emotional struggle with the work was beginning to impact my mental health and life outside the laboratory. That’s when I knew I needed to seriously reconsider my path.

4) How did you process those feelings? Did you talk to your supervisor or peers about it?

I usually process challenges internally. However, there were days when my discomfort was visible. This happened despite my efforts to maintain a positive demeanor. I did seek perspectives from trusted colleagues in the lab, and my family provided invaluable support throughout this process. I think I only told you Aku once I had made my final decision, partially because I was afraid as you are a PhD student as well.

While I was initially hesitant to burden others with my concerns, I eventually had an honest conversation with my supervisor. Interestingly, they mentioned that they wished I had come to them sooner, as they felt they could have provided better support during my emotional struggle. This experience taught me the importance of open communication in research environments. I learned that my supervisor is not just a boss but also a mentor!

5) What would you say to other students who might feel uncomfortable with in vivo work but are scared to speak up?

Transparency and honest communication are absolutely crucial. Many supervisors are more understanding and supportive than we might expect. They often prefer to address concerns early rather than watch a student struggle silently. Remember that your personal values and ethical comfort are fundamental to your long-term success and well-being as a researcher. You shouldn’t have to experience daily internal conflict with your work.

The wonderful reality is that science is incredibly broad and diverse. There are numerous research paths that don’t require in vivo experiments, from computational biology and bioinformatics to clinical research, in vitro studies, and translational work. Your ethical considerations don’t limit your scientific potential; they help guide you toward the right fit for YOU.

6)  Is there anything you’ve learned through this experience that you wish you could tell your past self?

This is a great question! Two key lessons stand out. First, it’s not only acceptable but valuable to try research approaches you’re uncertain about; this experimentation helps you discover important things about yourself and your professional preferences. There’s no shame in realizing that a particular research method/topic/niche isn’t right for you.

Second, prioritizing your mental health and personal values isn’t selfish or unprofessional. It’s essential for long-term success and satisfaction in any career. Taking care of yourself ultimately makes you a better scientist and colleague, as well as giving you a chance at happiness/enjoyment from the job rather than burning out.

7) Any final advice for people who might be struggling with ethical discomfort during their PhD?

Remember that experiencing ethical discomfort doesn’t reflect poorly on you or your commitment to science. It actually demonstrates thoughtfulness and self-awareness—qualities that are valuable in any research career. Don’t suffer in silence; reach out to mentors, peers, or counseling resources for support.

Consider this an opportunity to explore the vast landscape of scientific careers. Many successful scientists have navigated similar transitions and found fulfilling paths that align with their values. Whether that’s computational research, policy work, science communication, education, clinical research, or industry positions, there are countless ways to contribute meaningfully to scientific progress.

Most importantly, trust yourself. Your ethical compass is an asset, not an obstacle, and finding research that aligns with your values will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable career in science.

Final Thoughts

Leaving a PhD doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough. It means you made a choice, with clarity, courage, and self-awareness. If you’re struggling with the same questions, know this: you’re not alone, and walking away can be just as valid as pushing through.

Whatever path you take, let it be one that serves you.